Candles strung in lanterns flicker
On an evening as calm as this
Scent afloat lavender, hither thither
& your hand in mine is pure bliss
Amongst flowers purple and ivory pastels
Music spreads as butterflies engage in a kiss
Wafts a stray note of crackling timber
as the embers sparkling in the bright bonfire hiss
Out of the lush scenery of several daydreams
into the jungle of glass and green
from the dream’s craft I disembarked
onto the embrace of your heart that gleams
childlike awestruck, surrounded by trees
we dance a ball into the night, spinning on our heels
and like the wind I am whisked away,
held in arms light with delight
Above us the clouds part to give way to the moon
tender and dripping delicate diamante dew,
remembered only by the shine that lines our paths
As your eyes engage in dreams together we sew
Listening tiptoe to the wet droplets hiss on the fiery embers
are gathered all around the forgotten hills and forests
witnessing silently the whisperings of these hearts of ours
when envelops us the quilt quaintly familiar of a pearly mist.
~ ~ Purvi Petal, © May 09, 2012
From nowhere to hell. And nothing much about much : June 8, 2011
I have been getting hurt. Knowingly, unknowingly hit, by people, who presume, they love me. I have wanted to break away with a few. Then something kept me from it..
All those laments that have lashed me. Why? Because I was an easy prey. A soft target. A nice punching wall. A wash basin to vomit out all frustrations? Expecting me to provide a tap to wash away all guilt? or With the excuse that they had chosen to build a ‘relation’ with me?
I cried then today. It was not a wail of self-derogation, uttered in anguish. These were tears of anger. Beyond frustration. I still am. Very Very angry. And now slipping into the cold, pause mode. This is bad. I know for my own self, it will take me back to those very dark, sad days. Times, when I have forgotten my self, about me, around me, lost, so lost.. that I slipped into a trance, time not knowing passing by, totally oblivious to my own existence, survival. Lived then I, like a dead woman, dragging herself.. or being dragged, by the chains of time.
If I won’t let myself slip into that pause mood, then, I might as well not live like dead now. But I might not as well be alive. The anger will keep me burning. Slowly. Softly killing me, seething like a coal, left to singe. Coz I do not feel like pardoning. No. I am as angry as I was 2 years ago with someone. And I then walked out of her life. She had her mentor, guide, sister, mother, friend, everyone in me. But she couldn’t take her ‘rides’ with life, thanks to me. I was ‘protective’. Fine. I, one fine day, Stepped out in the Sun. And left the gloom behind. I suddenly realised, so much of a relief it was. I had been hanging an albatross round my neck all this while. I just walked out, never to return back, never to regret my decision, never to ever think of her or miss her. If, per chance, she came to my mind, it was for the stark ingratitude shown towards me, for the cover I had given that orphaned girl, shielding her like my own child. trying to provide, at my own physical, mental, emotional, monetary expense, everything that she demanded. And how dare she demand? Coz I let her! I still shudder and wonder, why did I withstand all that door-mat like treatment? Thank God, for one day those embers went cold. I am THAT angry today. Shrugging off those insensitive people from my life, who do not think, feel, realise for me. Actually, to hell with you. I mean, you take the journey alone, my goodbyes from here! Am throwing out today, a few people from my list and mentally severing off relations with some others. Have known them for long. No need for tags. If they realise, fine, if they don’t, all the more better!
And the ones I am tagging, need not necessarily be in the above category. They might be people I am sharing a day, a phase of myself with.