Tags
estrangement, friendship, lonely, lonliness, mail, mental agony, mental torture, metamorphosis, new relationships, river, suicide
When anger supersedes our self, life, universe.. & there is a complete black-out, (like today when I brokeOff again with that so called friend ~ despite ur warnings,sorry!), then suddenly, I could cool down my flaming ears (a sign of shooting high BP) by thinking.. NO, I cannot, just cannot let anything become more important than myself. I cannot AND should not kill (by mental torture) myslf FOR anyone.Who is helped by a Suicide*? Absolutely none 0f those We’ve ever loved. Yes, I’m extremely lonely.. & lonely I will be. Then wot is the good use of latching onto somebody who is also not there when you need their shoulder the most! I’m still lonely..back to square one. Lonely world for me. So cool down. Cool down. Its Ok.
I have believed in ‘Ekla Chaulo Re..’ even when the world’s my family. I, like a river, embrace everything dat comes my way, good or bad & try to modify a rock into a figurine. The metamorphasis once done, the rock of Gibralter when has become the statue of liberty, or the caterpillar into a butterfly, I have to move on.. forever towards an unknown destination.. an unknown unidentified journey. She or He is definetly not my destination.. then why, WHY do I linger on.. What charm, what attraction holds me on? Its just lack of self-control, a bad habit or lets say just a laidback fear of not letting go of the past. I have to learn MY lesson well in life..She/Hez not for me.
For You My Dear..
Yes, YOU are there but I know not for how long.. I dont know. As life moves along You might venture into a world of your own making.. yes, You should. Everyone has the absolute right to. So even when I want to hold onto You forever, I will not. Because I cannot. I have understood that this equation lies the same for evryone who comes in our life.. its d same equation as when Death comes.. We have to go.. I will have to go. Period. You are, and ought to be, buzy with other things and so lets not make one beautiful relationship the carrier of emotional baggage of the other. This I’m telling myself. Not you. Because You’ve never brought any emotional baggage.
Thats it for today.
Purvi's Purple Petals 
This is so beautiful.. something all of us go thorough at some point of time in our lives.. beautifully penned emotions, the hurt agony and then the acceptance..
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I am awestruck. Now this is what I call as ‘classic’ piece of penning. Reading you is just not a pleasure but an enriching experience, a learning in itself! Its not too easy to be consistent everytime but you do it so easily. I wonder how????????
This letter is breathe-taking and carries a deep insight. Touches some core sensitive feelings with rationale. makes for a stupendous, overwhelming read. Castes a strange spell on me. Not an easy task to understand women’s emotions (or for that matter just anyone’s), because their thoughts have the depths like that of an ocean.
But you? You do it just so well! Applause!
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Swati mam, U have picked the gist of the write, Thanks for reading through with such interest. 🙂
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Suriji, your involvment in the write shows in the care you have taken to comment extensively and so meaningfully. Thanks a million! 🙂
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Nopes i cant fathom silence,get up early in the morning,sit crossed legged ,close your eyes shut,stop your mind from thinking….just listen to the sounds of nature ….waves hitting the rocks….birds chirping….the sound of the temple bells …the car in the neighbourhood…whatever…just for 10 minutes…yup its a yoga asana…dont remember the name…but its blissful….why be lonely????????though even i am…..
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Rajiv, this is not about choosing to be lonely, this is about choosing to be stregth in lonliness. This is not a sob letter. This is an advice in overcoming sobs and sordid sagas of life. This is about choosing to live, even if hurled into solitude, and NOT being lonely even then my friend. 🙂
.. because Knowing is not enough; we must apply it to life. Willingness is not enough; We must do. We are still the masters of our fate. We are still the captains of our souls 🙂
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The middle of first part is impressive. especially when ‘I’ tries to be as broad as life itself.
‘I, like a river, embrace everything dat comes my way, good or bad & try to modify a rock into a figurine. The metamorphasis once done, the rock of Gibralter……………………..”.Shows how writer sometimes has to be above the normal,traditional.
The second one ‘This I’m telling myself. Not you. Because You’ve never brought any emotional baggage.” It is impressive but too good to be true…..!
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Guess, some people never learn to believe. yet, Its so easy to call others skeptical.
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Explicit exposure of deep emotions to recapitulate the inner depth…loved the write up purvi:-)
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